Topic: Math Joke Question: What do you call a dead parrot? Answer: A polygon
Question: What is a circle? Answer: round
Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because the 'P' is silent.
Q: Why do I not know any jokes? A: Because I'm not funny.
Chuck Norris doesn't do push ups. He pushes the world down.
Me: Up dog? You: ? Me: Up Dog? You: What's "up dog"? Me: Not much!
A day without sunshine is like, night.
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Two guys met in the middle of the desert. One was carrying a car door, the other an umbrella. The one with the car door said to the guy with the umbrella, "Why are you carrying that umbrella around, it isn't going to rain in the desert?" To which the guy with the umbrella replies, "Yeah!, but it keeps me out of the sun! By the way, why are you carrying around that car door, you don't even have a car to go with it. The guy with the car door says, "yeah, well at least if I get too hot from the sun I can just roll down the window!"
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Q: "What's the difference between a guitar and a fish?" A: "You can't tuna fish."
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Teacher: "Kids, what does the chicken give you?" Student: "Meat!" Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?" Student: "Bacon!" Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?" Student: "Homework!"
Q:What do you call an alligator in a vest?
A: An Investigator
I used to think the brain was the most important organ. Then I thought, look what’s telling me that.
Did you hear about the new corduroy pillows? They’re making headlines everywhere!
Why do they call it ovaltine? The jar is round, the mug is round, they should call it roundtine!
How do you make a bandstand? Take away their chairs
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I dreamt I was forced to eat a giant marshmallow. When I woke up, my pillow was gone.
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Q. How do you make a strawberry shake? A. Put it in the freezer.