Disney Jokes

Q: Why did Mickey go into outer space? 
A: To find Pluto! 

Q: What kind of vehicles do Disney characters drive? 
A: Minnie Vans! 

Q: Why can't you give Elsa a balloon? 
A: Because she will Let it Go! 

Q: What is Tarzan's favorite Christmas Carol? 
A: Jungle Bells! 

Q: What did snow white say when her photos weren't ready yet? 
A: Some Day My Prints Will come! 

Q: Why was Cinderella a bad soccer player? 
A: Because she was always running away from the ball, she kept losing her shoes, and she had a pumpkin for a coach! 

Q: What do you call a dancing ghost? 
A: Polka-haunt-us 

Q: What does Pooh Bear call his girl friend? 
A: Hunny! 

Q: What did the Daisy Duck say when she bought lipstick? 
A: Put it on my bill. 

Q: What did the 101 Dalmatians say after eating dinner? 
A: That hit the spot. 

Q: Why did Goofy wear two pairs of pants when he played golf? 
A: He thought he might get a hole in one. 

Q: What do you get when you cross Huey, Dewey & Louie with a cow? 
A: Quackers and Milk 

Q: What is Mickey Mouse's favorite sport? 
A: Minnie-golf! 

Q: Why do people go to Disneyland? 
A: So they can get a little goofy! 

Q: What does Ariel like on her toast? 
A: Mermalade! 

Q: Why did Tigger stick his head in the toilet? 
A: He was looking for Pooh! 

Q: Why are there no planes where peter pan lives? 
A: Because there is a sign that says "Never Neverland"! 

Q: What do you call Wall-E's cousin who cleans floors? 
A: Floor-E 

Q: What does Mickey Mouse use to browse the Web? 
A: An iPad Minnie! 

Q: How do you catch Chip N Dale? 
A: Climb up a tree and act like a nut. 

Q: What do you get if you cross Donald with a whale? 
A: Moby Duck. 

Q: Why did Dopey take a box of crayons with him into the bedroom? 
A: Snow White asked him to draw the curtains. 

Q: What do you get when you cross Pooh and a skunk? 
A: Winnie the P.U. 

Q: What kind of blush does Mulan wear? 
A: Mulan Rouge 

Q: How does Mickey feel when Minnie is mad at him? 
A: Mouserable. 

Q: Why did Sleepy take firewood to bed with him? 
A: He wanted to sleep like a log. 

Q: Why didn't Anna & Elsa's parents teach them the whole alphabet? 
A: Because they got lost at C. 

Q: What did Mickey say when Minnie asked him if he was listening? 
A: "I'm all ears!" 

Q: What's Peter Pan's favorite restaurant? 
A: Wendy's 

Q: What does Olaf eat for lunch?
A: Icebergers 

Q: Why did Jasmine go to the fruit stand in the Marketplace? 
A: She was looking for a date. 

Q: What is Grumpy's favorite fruit? 
A: Sour Grapes 

Q: What does Baloo need to live? 
A: The Bear Necessities

If cinderella’s shoe fit perfectly, why did it fall off in the first place?

Simba was walking too slow, so I told him to Mufasa! 

In the Lion King, what was Scar’s name before he got the scar?

What was Captain Hook’s name when he had two hands?

I blame Disney for making me believe that everything will have a happy ending

If cinderella’s shoe fit perfectly, why did it fall off in the first place?

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