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That moment when you finally decided to poison your Step bro

1.That moment when you finally decided
to
poison your Step bro...
And after the meal you keep looking at him
and
smiling and he be like... This one you are
looking at me and smiling did
you see me when I exchange the food???


2.Her : am coming tonight
Me : can't wait babe
Her : coming with my frnds oo
Me : I said I can't wait am going somewhere


3.Whats this life turning into
How can a Tenant dog chase the landlord out of his house

4.My girlfriend mother said I should not step my foot in their house again ..so I am in a wheel
chair going there now..


5.Yawa dey ooo
One guy divorced his wife after one week
her
father died and she inherited 250million
naira he called her and told her that he is pregnant.

6.Dear Age-mate, please stop getting married, you guys are making our parents think we are not serious*

7.Mosquitoes from Warri, will take off your clothes, fold them and bite you*

8.You're not dating her but you'll go to her post commenting,"my luv,my baby & be scaring serious candidates...Respect yourself in this 2020

9.Another form of maturity is when you control tears when food does not reach you in an occasion
If you've experienced this raise up your hand, we have meeting.

10.Very soon MTN will start sending message like your brother is owing us for two years, if you love your brother kindly press 1 to payback

11.The girl that refused to show me her breast back in secondary school is now sitting next to me in taxi and she is breast feeding her baby. Is our God not wonderful?

12.That awkward moment you’re seating next to one beautiful girl in the church and the pastor shout “standup and hug your neighbor, just smile bro you have made it in life

13.With the way things are going in Nigeria, APC may change their broom to cutlass oo

14.Stay away from Sex, you won't die..Me that is a Virgin, am I dead?

15...A pastor got out of his car and was
slapped by an unknown man4 no reason.
Everyone around was wondering what the
pastor was going to do. He moved three
steps back and gave the man
a serious slap...serious heart breaking slap.
A lady nearby even felt the impact of the slap
in her face and asked the pastor, 'Why didn't
u
forgive?'.He said , " there's more blessing in
giving than receiving"...

16.I was in a taxi yesterday when i suddenly realised i desperately needed to fart. The taxi driver was playing a very loud music, the music was so loud..So i timed my fart with with the beat of the music, i was releasing the fart alongside the music so that nobody would hear the sound of the fart, although it was loud too...When i finished, i started feeling better, but i looked around and noticed that everyone in the taxi frowned and was staring at me...Then i suddenly remembered that fuck i was listening to the music with my Earphones

17.If you crack a joke and is not funny to me, don’t expect me to hahaha in something that’s not hahahareable

18.If I have never made you laugh this year, just comment “hi” lemme block you.
your problem is bigger than me and my jokes

19.ENGLISH VS PIGIN
English: If Theo walk at night, Theo might get lost.
Pidgin: If Theo waka for night, THEOPHILUS.
English: It will take a while before Dan arrives.
Pidgin: Dangote
English: Jason started it..
Pidgin: Na JASON STATHAM
English : It's Ramsey that knows her.
Pidgin: Na Ramsey Noah
ENGLISH: Are u Videoing it.
PIGIN: U DAVIDO am.
ENGLISH: Olamide is Bad.
PIGIN: Olamide Baddoo.
ENGLISH: How did u know.
PIGIN: How u Tekno.
ENGLISH: He Might Know.
PIGIN: He Phyno.
ENGLISH: I thought he is a girl, but he is a boy.
PIGIN: I think say na Girl, Burna Boy.
ENGLISH: The Song Belongs to Sam.
PIGIN: Na SamSung.
ENGLISH: It's David that Baked it.
PIGIN: Na David Beckham.
ENGLISH: Selena will fart.
PIGIN: Selena Gomez.
ENGLISH: Their Belly.
PIGIN: Dembele.
ENGLISH: John is Weak.
PIGIN: John Wick.
ENGLISH: Roberto's Car got lost.
PIGIN: Roberto Carlos.
ENGLISH: He went to see Linda.
PIGIN: He go Cylinder.
ENGLISH: It wasn't Me, It was Ruth.
PIGIN: No be Me, Naruto.
ENGLISH: I don't Care.
PIGIN: I Nokia.
ENGLISH: How did u know that I told him to knock your Head??.
PIGIN: How u Tecno say Itel am make Im Nokia head? .
ENGLISH: Look at Ronaldo.
PIGIN: C. Ronaldo


20.A Nigerian teacher was
sent to China to
teach....The first day he
entered the class, he
decided to call attendance.
He called d first name, "Sheng", a student stood up and
answered "present sir". He
called the second
name "chu muon ",
another student answered "present
sir".Suddenly he sneezed "hatchia".
One
student seatedat the
corner stoop up and said,
"present sir". He surprisingly exclaimed,
"hmmm". All the students shouted "absent
sir".At this moment, he got
confused and said,
"Chai". Three students
immediately stood up and
said,"which of us sir".The teacher became even
more confused and asked, "what is
wrong"??
A
student stood up and
answered," sir, I am not wrong. I am called Wong "
Now the teacher could
not help it but laughed
out" hahaha...... A girl
stood up and answered,
"presentsir". The teacher collapsed with laughter.

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