1-2 बर्ष हुदा पनि profile picture change 
नगर्नु !!

हप्ता मा एक पटक नुहाउदा मात्र मुख मा साबुन पर्नु 😂
मुख मा brush छिर्ने बितिक्कै पानी ले कुल्ला गर्न हतार हुनु !!

एउटै पाइन्ट लाई धुनु पर्छ भनेर १५ दिन सम्म लगाइ रहनु 😂

कपाल मा काइयो पर्न नदिनु !!
खाना पकाउने तेल टाउको मा दल्नु !!

कपाल काट्दा आमा कट काट्नु (आमा ले जस्तो भनेको छ त्यस्तै ) 😂

हात मा हेल्मेट बोक्न नसक्नु 😂
fake id सग साढे 4 बर्ष one side love पर्नु 💔

अस्ट्रेलिया र साउदी अमेरिका को भिसा नलाग्नु
बाँस जत्रो हाइट नहुनु !! अनि ज्यान टाइट नहुनु

आफू सिधै बोल्न नसकेर साथी लाई
"ओइ केटि मिलाइ दे न भन्नू "

चौबिसै घन्टा online हुनु तर बोल्ने कोहि नहुनु

future को tension ले झुत्रे झाम्रे , झुसे र लुरे हुनु !!

यी कारक तत्व ले गर्दा आज म १९ बर्ष पुग्नै लाग्दा पनि single नै छु !!

😂😂

जय राम जि कि 
कृष्ण कृष्ण 💞

Dear future husband 
बरु बिहेमा सुन कम होस् 😊😊
तरकारीमा नुन कम होस् 😍😍
तर माया चै चर्को हुनुपर्छ है 💕💕
#बरै

माया + आलु = मायालु 
पीडा + आलु = पिँडालु 
दया + आलु = दयालु 
काउली + आलु = तरकारी

आखिर किन ??

#बरै


अल्छि हरु को प्रतियोगिता चलिरहेको थियो 
म जादै गईन😉 😉
आयोजकले प्रथम पुरस्कार घरमै ल्याईदिरा 😃 😃 
#बरै

तिम्रो माया र खाम भित्र को पैसा उस्तै उस्तै हो

छन चै छ तर कति छ कहिले नबुझिनि 😂😂
#बरै

Q: Why did Mickey go into outer space? 
A: To find Pluto! 

Q: What kind of vehicles do Disney characters drive? 
A: Minnie Vans! 

Q: Why can't you give Elsa a balloon? 
A: Because she will Let it Go! 

Q: What is Tarzan's favorite Christmas Carol? 
A: Jungle Bells! 

Q: What did snow white say when her photos weren't ready yet? 
A: Some Day My Prints Will come! 

Q: Why was Cinderella a bad soccer player? 
A: Because she was always running away from the ball, she kept losing her shoes, and she had a pumpkin for a coach! 

Q: What do you call a dancing ghost? 
A: Polka-haunt-us 

Q: What does Pooh Bear call his girl friend? 
A: Hunny! 

Q: What did the Daisy Duck say when she bought lipstick? 
A: Put it on my bill. 

Q: What did the 101 Dalmatians say after eating dinner? 
A: That hit the spot. 

Q: Why did Goofy wear two pairs of pants when he played golf? 
A: He thought he might get a hole in one. 

Q: What do you get when you cross Huey, Dewey & Louie with a cow? 
A: Quackers and Milk 



Q: What is Mickey Mouse's favorite sport? 
A: Minnie-golf! 

Q: Why do people go to Disneyland? 
A: So they can get a little goofy! 

Q: What does Ariel like on her toast? 
A: Mermalade! 

Q: Why did Tigger stick his head in the toilet? 
A: He was looking for Pooh! 

Q: Why are there no planes where peter pan lives? 
A: Because there is a sign that says "Never Neverland"! 

Q: What do you call Wall-E's cousin who cleans floors? 
A: Floor-E 

Q: What does Mickey Mouse use to browse the Web? 
A: An iPad Minnie! 

Q: How do you catch Chip N Dale? 
A: Climb up a tree and act like a nut. 

Q: What do you get if you cross Donald with a whale? 
A: Moby Duck. 

Q: Why did Dopey take a box of crayons with him into the bedroom? 
A: Snow White asked him to draw the curtains. 

Q: What do you get when you cross Pooh and a skunk? 
A: Winnie the P.U. 

Q: What kind of blush does Mulan wear? 
A: Mulan Rouge 

Q: How does Mickey feel when Minnie is mad at him? 
A: Mouserable. 



Q: Why did Sleepy take firewood to bed with him? 
A: He wanted to sleep like a log. 

Q: Why didn't Anna & Elsa's parents teach them the whole alphabet? 
A: Because they got lost at C. 

Q: What did Mickey say when Minnie asked him if he was listening? 
A: "I'm all ears!" 

Q: What's Peter Pan's favorite restaurant? 
A: Wendy's 

Q: What does Olaf eat for lunch?
A: Icebergers 

Q: Why did Jasmine go to the fruit stand in the Marketplace? 
A: She was looking for a date. 

Q: What is Grumpy's favorite fruit? 
A: Sour Grapes 

Q: What does Baloo need to live? 
A: The Bear Necessities

If cinderella’s shoe fit perfectly, why did it fall off in the first place?

Simba was walking too slow, so I told him to Mufasa! 

In the Lion King, what was Scar’s name before he got the scar?

What was Captain Hook’s name when he had two hands?

I blame Disney for making me believe that everything will have a happy ending

If cinderella’s shoe fit perfectly, why did it fall off in the first place?

Knock Knock! Who's there? 
Norma Lee 
Norma Lee who? 
Norma Lee I have my key, can you let me in? 

Knock Knock! Who's there? 
Mikey 
Mikey who? 
Mikey doesn't fit in the keyhole! 

Knock Knock! Who's there? 
Figs 
Figs who? 
Figs the doorbell, it's broken! 

Knock Knock! Who's there? 
Tank 
Tank who? 
You're welcome! 

Knock Knock! Who's there? 
Barbie 
Barbie who? 
Barbie Q Chicken! 

Knock Knock! Who's There? 
Cheese 
Cheese Who? 
Cheese a jolly good fellow! 

Knock, knock! Who's there? 
Abby 
Abby who? 
Abby Birthday to you! 

Knock Knock! Who's there? 
Howdy 
Howdy Who? 
Howdy I get in? 
The doorknob is stuck! 

Knock Knock! Who's there? 
Orange 
Orange Who? 
Orange you glad to see me? 

Knock Knock! Who's there? 
Water
Water Who? 
Water you waiting for? Open the door! 

Knock Knock! Who's there? 
Dewey 
Dewey Who? 
Dewey have to knock again for you to let us in? 

Knock Knock! Who's there? 
Cash 
Cash who? 
I knew you were a nut!



Knock Knock! Who's there? 
Justin 
Justin who? 
Justin time for lunch 

Knock, knock! Who's there? 
Dwayne 
Dwayne who? 
Dwayne the bathtub, it's overflowing! 

Knock, knock! Who's there? 
Pencil 
Pencil who? 
Pencil fall down if you don't wear a belt. 

Knock, knock! Who's there? 
A little girl 
A little girl who? 
A little girl who can't reach the doorbell. 

Knock, knock! Who's there? 
Value 
Value who? 
Value be my valentine? 

Knock Knock! Who's there? 
Olive 
Olive who? 
Olive right next to you, I'm your neighbour! 

Knock Knock! Who's there? 
Bacon 
Bacon who? 
Bacon a cake for your birthday. 

Knock Knock! Who's there? 
Sweden 
Sweden who? 
Sweden sour chicken is my favourite Chinese meal! 

Knock Knock! Who's there? 
Dots 
Dots who? 
Dots for me to know, and you to find out! 

Knock Knock! Who's there? 
Ivana 
Ivana who? 
Ivana come inside. Let me in! 

Knock Knock! Who's There? 
Cheese 
Cheese Who? 
Cheese a very cute girl! 

Knock Knock! Who's there? 
Broccoli 
Broccoli who? 
Broccoli doesn't have a last name, silly!



Knock Knock! Who's there? 
Opportunity 
Opportunity who? 
Don't be silly - opportunity doesn't knock twice! 

Knock Knock! Who's there? 
Amish 
Amish Who? 
Awwww How sweet. I miss you too. 

Knock Knock! Who's there? 
Little Old lady 
Little Old lady who? 
Wow, I didn't know you could yodel! 

Knock Knock! Who's there? 
Doctor 
Doctor who? 
That's a great TV show, isn't it? 

Knock Knock! Who's there? 
Jamaican 
Jamaican who? 
Jamaican me crazy 

Knock, Knock! Who's there? 
Lettuce 
Lettuce who? 
Lettuce in and we'll tell you! 

Knock, knock! Who's there? 
Roach 
Roach who? 
Roach you a letter, did you get it? 

Knock, knock! Who's there? 
King Tut 
King Tut who? 
King Tut-key fried chicken! 

Knock, knock! Who's there? 
Etch 
Etch who? 
Bless you! 

Knock, knock! Who's there?
Annie 
Annie who? 
Annie body home? 

Knock, knock! Who's there? 
Boo 
Boo who? 
Gosh, don't cry it's just a knock knock joke. 

Knock, knock! Who's there? 
Watson 
Watson who? 
What's on TV tonight? 

Knock, knock! Who's there? 
Beats 
Beats who? 
Beats me. 

Knock, knock! Who's there? 
Ya 
Ya who? 
No thanks, I’m more of a Google person. 

Knock, knock! Who's there? 
Tank 
Tank who? 
Your welcome! 

Knock, knock! Who's there? 
Althea 
Althea who? 
Althea later alligator! 

Knock, knock! Who's there? 
Luke 
Luke who? 
Luke through the the peep hole and find out 

Knock, knock! Who's there? 
Avenue 
Avenue who? 
Avenue knocked on this door before? 

Knock, knock! Who's there? 
Adore 
Adore who? 
Adore is between us. Open up! 

Knock, Knock! Who's there? 
I have toop 
I have toop who? 
You have to POO? Well, go to the bathroom, then! 




Knock Knock! Who's there? 
Radio! 
Radio who? 
Radi-o not, here I come! 

Knock knock! Who's there? 
Cows go 
Cows go who? 
No, cows go moo! 

Knock knock! Who's there? 
Honey bee 
Honey bee who? 
Honey bee a dear and get me a soda! 

Knock knock! Who's there? 
Doris 
Doris who? 
Doris locked, that's why I'm knocking! 

Knock, knock! Who's there? 
Needle 
Needle who? 
Needle little money to buy lunch today 

Knock, knock! Who's there? 
Dozen 
Dozen who? 
Dozen anyone wanna let me in? 

Knock Knock! Who's There? 
A mall 
A mall who? 
A mall shook up! 

Knock Knock! Who's There? 
Tennis 
Tennis who? 
Tennis my favorite number! 

Knock Knock! Who's There? 
Kanga 
Kanga who? 
No, Kangaroo! 

Knock Knock! Who's There? 
Ice cream 
Ice cream who? 
Ice cream when I see a ghost! 

Knock Knock! Who's There? 
Vonn 
Vonn who? 
Vonn day my prince will come! 

Knock Knock! Who's There? 
Sid 
Sid who? 
Sid down and eat your dinner! 

Knock, knock! Who's there? 
Claire 
Claire who? 
Claire the way, I'm coming through! 

Knock Knock! Who's there? 
Chicken 
Chicken who? 
Chicken your pockets if you can't find your keys. 

Knock Knock! Who's there? 
Doughnut 
Doughnut who? 
Doughnut ask, it's a secret 

Knock, knock! Who's there? 
Viper 
Viper who? 
Viper nose, it's running! 

Knock, knock! Who's there? 
Spell 
Spell who? 
W-H-O 

Knock, knock! Who's there? 
Iva 
Iva Who? 
I've a sore hand from knocking! 

Knock, knock! Who's there? 
Noah 
Noah Who? 
Noah good place where I can get something to eat? 

Knock, knock! Who's there? 
Otto 
Otto Who? 
Otto know. I've got amnesia! 

Knock, knock! Who's there? 
Canoe 
Canoe Who? 
Canoe help me find a gas station around here? 




Knock, knock! Who's there? 
Europe 
Europe Who? 
No, YOU'RE a poo! 

Knock, knock! Who's there? 
Henrietta 
Henrietta Who? 
Henrietta worm that was in his apple 

Knock, knock! Who's there? 
Harry 
Harry Who? 
Harry up, it's cold out here! 

Knock, knock! Who's there? 
A herd 
A herd Who? 
A herd you were home, so I came over! 

Knock, knock! Who's there? 
Robin 
Robin Who? 
Robin the piggy bank again 

Knock, knock! Who's there? 
Ivor 
Ivor Who? 
Ivor you let me in, or I'll climb through the window! 

Knock, knock! Who's there? 
Sadie 
Sadie Who? 
Sadie magic word and watch me disappear! 

Knock, knock! Who's there? 
Ben 
Ben Who? 
Ben knocking for 10 minutes! 

Knock Knock! Who's there? 
Police 
Police who? 
Police stop telling these awful knock, knock jokes! 

Knock Knock! Who's there? 
Owl 
Owl who?
Owl good things come to those who wait. 

Knock Knock! Who's there? 
Some bunny 
Some bunny who? 
Some bunny has been eating my carrots! 

Knock Knock! Who's there? 
For 
For who? 
For the hundreth time, it's me Tom. Now open the door! 

Knock Knock! Who's there? 
Shh 
Shh who?
Shh yourself. 
I'm trying to watch a movie! 

Knock Knock! Who's there? 
Carmen 
Carmen who? 
Carmen open the door already! 

Knock Knock! Who's there? 
Bat 
Bat who? 
Bat you'll never guess! 

Knock Knock! Who's there? 
Oswald 
Oswald who? 
Oswald my gum 

Knock Knock! Who's there? 
Yacht 
Yacht who? 
Yacht a know me by now! 




Knock Knock! Who's there? 
Anit 
Anita who? 
Anita eat something, I’m hungry!

Knock Knock! Who's there? 
Sara 
Sara who? 
Sara person in there who can let me in?

Knock Knock! Who's there? 
Halibut 
Halibut who? 
Halibut you let me inside! 

Knock Knock! Who's there? 
Eyesore 
Eyesore who? 
Eyesore do love you! 

Knock Knock! Who's there? 
Foster 
Foster who? 
Foster than a speeding bullet! 

Knock Knock! Who's there? 
Nuisance 
Nuisance who? 
What’s Nuisance yesterday? 

Knock Knock! Who's there? 
Dwight 
Dwight who? 
Dwight way is better than the wrong way! 

Knock Knock! Who's there? 
Haden 
Haden who? 
Haden go seek! 

Knock Knock! Who's there? 
Peas 
Peas who? 
Peas to meet you! 

Knock Knock! Who's there? 
Zany 
Zany who? 
Zany body going to let me in?

Knock Knock! Who's there? 
Want 
Want who? 
Want Who Three Four Five! 

Knock Knock! Who's there? 
Zeke 
Zeke who? 
Zeke and you shall find! 

Q: Why did the cookie go to the hospital? 
A: Because he felt crummy 

Q: Why did Johnny throw the clock out of the window? 
A: Because he wanted to see time fly! 

Q: What did the policeman say to his belly button? 
A: You're under a vest! 

Q: What do you call a fake noodle? 
A: An impasta 

Q: What do lawyers wear to court? 
A: Lawsuits! 

Q: What did one toilet say to the other toilet? 
A: You look flushed 

Q: Why is there a gate around cemeteries? 
A: Because people are dying to get in! 

Q: Why wouldn't the shrimp share his treasure? 
A: Because he was a little shellfish 

Q: What lights up a soccer stadium? 
A: A soccer match 

Q: Why was the baby strawberry crying? 
A: Because his mom and dad were in a jam. 

Q: Why shouldn't you write with a broken pencil? 
A: Because it's pointless. 

Q: Why did the man put his money in the freezer? 
A: He wanted cold hard cash!

Q: What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches? 
A: A nervous wreck 

Q: Why did the barber win the race? 
A: Because he took a short cut.




Q: What do call cheese that isn't yours? 
A: Nacho Cheese 

Q: What do you call four bullfighters standing in quicksand? 
A: Quattro Sinko 

Q: How do you make a tissue dance? 
A: Put a little boogey in it! 

Q: What do you call a sleeping bull? 
A: A bulldozer! 

Q: What do you call a belt with a watch on it? 
A: A waist of time 

Q: What do you call bears with no ears? 
A: B 

Q: Where do pencils go for vacation? 
A: Pencil-vania

Q: Why couldn't the pony sing himself a lullaby?
A: He was a little hoarse

Q: What did the judge say when the skunk walked in the court room? 
A: Odor in the court.

Q: Where do snowmen keep their money? 
A: In snow banks! 

Q: What is the best day to go to the beach? 
A: Sunday, of course! 

Q: How do hens cheer for their team? 
A: They egg them on!

Q: Why did the man with one hand cross the road?
A: To get to the second hand shop. 

Q: What bow can't be tied? 
A: A rainbow! 

Q: What season is it when you are on a trampoline? 
A: Spring time 

Q: What is red and smells like blue paint? 
A: Red Paint 

Q: Why do fish live in salt water? 
A: Because pepper makes them sneeze! 

Q: Why did the birdie go to the hospital? 
A: To get a tweetment 

Q: What has one head, one foot and four legs? 
A: A Bed



Q: Where did the computer go to dance? 
A: To a disc-o 

Q: Why is England the wettest country? 
A: Because the queen has reigned there for years! 

Q: Why did the banana go to the Doctor? 
A: Because it was not peeling well 

Q: Why did the computer go to the doctor? 
A: Because it had a virus! 

Q: Why did Roger go out with a prune? 
A: Because he couldn’t find a date! 

Q: What happened to the dog that swallowed a firefly? 
A: It barked with de-light! 

Q: How do you shoot a killer bee? 
A: With a bee-bee gun 

Q: Who earns a living driving their customers away? 
A: A taxi driver 

Q: What did the little mountain say to the big mountain? 
A: Hi Cliff! 

Q: What did Winnie The Pooh say to his agent? 
A: Show me the honey! 

Q: Why did the girl smear peanut butter on the road?
A: To go with the traffic jam!

Q: What goes through towns, up & over hills, but doesn't move? 
A: The road! 

Q: What kind of dogs like car racing?
A: Lap dogs

Q: Why was there thunder and lightning in the lab? 
A: The scientists were brainstorming! 

Q: Why couldn't the pirate play cards? 
A: Because he was sitting on the deck! 

Q: What do you call a baby monkey? 
A: A Chimp off the old block 

Q: Where do bees go to the bathroom? 
A: At the BP station! 

Q: Why did the traffic light turn red? 
A: You would too if you had to change in the middle of the street! 

Q: What did one elevator say to the other elevator? 
A: I think I'm coming down with something! 

Q: What do you get when you cross fish and an elephant? 
A: Swimming trunks. 

Q: What do you call the security guards who work at the Samsung store? 
A: Guardians of the Galaxy. 

Q: What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? 
A: Frostbite 

Q: What word is always spelled wrong in the Dictionary? 
A: Wrong. 

Q: Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself? 
A: It was two-tired! 

Q: How can you tell who is a fan of car racing?
A: He thinks the last words to the star spangled banner are ‘Gentlemen, start your engines!’

Q: What kind of animal do you not want to play games with?
A: A cheetah

Q: Why did the chicken get a penalty?
A: For fowl play!




Q: What is a cheerleader’s favorite drink? 
A: Rootbeer

Q: When does Friday come before Thursday? 
A: In the dictionary 

Q: What did the blanket say to the bed? 
A: Don't worry, I've got you covered! 

Q: How many tickles does it take to make an Octopus laugh? 
A: Ten-tickles 

Q: What kind of bird sticks to sweaters? 
A: a Vel-Crow 

Q: What washes up on very small beaches? 
A: Microwaves 

Q: What kind of button won’t unbutton? 
A: A bellybutton! 

Q: Where do boats go when they get sick? 
A: The dock 

Q: What pet makes the loudest noise? 
A: A trum-pet! 

Q: What do you call a funny mountain? 
A: Hill-arious! 

Q: What's easy to get into but hard to get out of? 
A: Trouble 

Q: What do you call two fat people having a chat? 
A: A heavy discussion 

Q: What did the triangle say to the circle?
A: You’re pointless!

Q: What kind of crackers do firemen like in their soup? 
A: Firecrackers! 

Q: What did the digital clock say to the grandfather clock? 
A: Look grandpa, no hands! 

Q: What is an astronaut's favorite place on a computer? 
A: The Space bar! 

Q: Which month do soldiers hate most? 
A: The month of March! 

Q: What did the judge say to the dentist? 
A: Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth. 

Q: What starts with a P, ends with an E, and has a million letters in it? 
A: Post Office! 

Q: What runs but doesn't get anywhere? 
A: A refrigerator 

Q: Why did the scarecrow win an award? 
A: Because he was out-standing in his field. 

Q: What kind of dog keeps the best time? 
A: A watch dog. 

Q: Which is the longest word in the dictionary? 
A: "Smiles", because there is a mile between each 's' 

Q: Why did the dinosaur cross the road? 
A: Because the chicken joke wasn't invented yet. 




Q: Why couldn't dracula's wife get to sleep? 
A: Because of his coffin. 

Q: What did the worker at the rubber band factory say when he lost his job? 
A: Oh Snap! 

Q: What did one hat say to another? 
A: You stay here, I'll go on a head 

Q: What do prisoners use to call each other? 
A: Cell phones. 

Q: What did the elder chimney say to the younger chimney? 
A: You're too young to smoke! 

Q: Why are pirates called pirates? 
A: Cause they arrrrr. 

Q. What did the lawyer name his daughter? 
A. Sue 

Q. What did the cat say after eating two robins lying in the sun? 
A. I just love baskin' robins. 

Q. How many books can you put in an empty backpack? 
A. One! After that it’s not empty! 

Q. Did you hear they're changing the flooring in daycare centers? 
A. They're calling it infant-tile! 

Q: What three candies can you find in every school? 
A: Nerds, DumDums, and smarties. 

Q: How do crazy people go through the forest? 
A: They take the psycho path. 

Q: Why does a Moon-rock taste better than an Earth-rock? 
A: Because it's a little meteor 

Q: Why is Peter Pan always flying? 
A: He neverlands! 

Q: Why did the picture go to jail? 
A: Because it was framed! 

Q: What do you call an alligator in a vest? 
A: An Investigator 

Q: What stays in the corner and travels all over the world? 
A: A stamp 

Q: What kind of key opens a banana? 
A: A monkey! 

Q: What do you call a guy who never farts in public? 
A: A private tutor 

Q: What goes up when the rain comes down? 
A: An umbrella 

Q: What did the tree say to the wind? 
A: Leaf me alone! 

Q: Did you hear the joke about the roof? 
A: Never mind, it's over your head! 

Q: Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance? 
A: Because he had no-body to go with. 

Q: What did the horse say when he fell? 
A: Help, I've fallen and I can't giddy up! 

Q: What happens when the smog lifts over Los Angeles? 
A: UCLA 

Q: Which U.S. State has the smallest soft drinks? 
A: Mini-soda 

Q: Why did the stadium get hot after the game? 
A: All of the fans left 

Q: What did the duck say to the bartender? 
A: Put it on my bill 

Q: How does a squid go into battle? 
A: Well Armed 

Q: What kind of tea is hard to swallow? 
A: Reality 

Q: Why was the guy looking for fast food on his friend? 
A: Because his friend said dinner is on me. 

Q: What did the Time Traveler do when he was still hungry after his last bite? 
A: He went back four seconds. 

Q: What do you call an unpredictable, out of control photographer? 
A: A loose Canon. 

Q: Did you hear about the sensitive burglar? 
A: He takes things personally. 

Q: Did the disappointed smoker get everything he wanted for Christmas? 
A: Clothes, but no cigar. 




Q: What do you call the sound a dog makes when it's choking on a piece of its owner's jewelry? 
A: A diamond in the ruff. 

Q: What do you call the heavy breathing someone makes while trying to hold a yoga pose? 
A: Yoga pants. 

Q: How do you impress a baker when you're taking his daughter on a date? 
A: Bring her flours. 

Q: Why did the yogurt go to the art exhibit? 
A: Because it was cultured. 

Q: Where do cows hang their paintings? 
A: In the mooo-seum. 

Q: Why did the tomato turn red? 
A: Because it saw the salad dressing! 

Q: Why did the can crusher quit his job? 
A: Because it was soda pressing. 

Q: What do bees do if they want to use public transport? 
A: Wait at a buzz stop! 

Q: What did the fashion police officer say to his sweater? 
A: "Do you know why I pulled you over?" 

Q: What do you call a group of unorganized cats? 
A: A Cat-astrophe 

Q: Why did the frog take the bus to work? 
A: His car got toad. 

Q: What is the difference between a dressmaker and a farmer? 
A: A dressmaker sews what she gathers, a farmer gathers what he sows. 

Q: What do you give to a sick lemon? 
A: Lemon aid! 

Q: What do they call cans in Mexico? 
A: Mexi-cans 

Q: What did the buffalo say to his son when he left for college? 
A: Bison 

Q: Where do Volkswagens go when they get old 
A: The Old Volks home! 

Q: Why did the elephants get kicked out of the public pool? 
A: They kept dropping their trunks. 

Q: What's the most musical part of a chicken? 
A: The drumstick 

Q: What do you call a seagull that flies over the bay? 
A: A Bagel 

Q: What did the fisherman say to the magician? 
A: Pick a cod, any cod! 

Q: What did the red light say to the green light? 
A: Don't look, I'm changing! 

Q: Why couldn't the sesame seed leave the casino? 
A: Because he was on a roll. 

Q: What would Bears be without Bees? 
A: Ears 

Q: Why did the poor man sell yeast? 
A: To raise some dough. 

Q: How do snails fight? 
A: They slug it out. 

Q: Why do bananas wear suntan lotion? 
A: Because they peel. 

Q: What's the difference between ignorance and apathy? 
A: I don't know and I don't care. 

Q: Why are penguins socially awkward? 
A: Because they can't break the ice. 

Q: Where do hamburgers go to dance? 
A: They go to the meat-ball 

Q: What kind of shoes do all spies wear? 
A: Sneakers 

Q: Why did the boy tiptoe past the medicine cabinet? 
A: He didn't want to wake the sleeping pills! 

Q: What do you get when you put your radio in the fridge?
A: Cool Music.

Q: Why did the belt go to jail? 
A: Because it held up a pair of pants! 

Q: What do you call a bear with no socks on? 
A: Bare-foot. 

Q: What can you serve but never eat? 
A: A volleyball. 

Q: How do bees get to school? 
A: They take the school buzz, of course! 

Q: What do you call a cow on a trampoline? 
A: A milk shake! 

Q: Why did the boy sprinkle sugar on his pillow before he went to sleep? 
A: So he could have sweet dreams. 

Q: Why did the robber take a bath? 
A: Because he wanted to make a clean getaway. 

Q: What did the penny say to the other penny?
A: We make perfect cents. 

Q: How do you find a Princess? 
A: You follow the foot Prince. 

Q: Why did the hipster burn his tongue with his pizza? 
A: He ate it before it was cool! 

Q: How do crazy people go through the forest? 
A: They take the psycho path. 




Q: What do you call an apology written in dots and dashes? 
A: Remorse code.

Q: What do you call a fat psychic? 
A: A four chin teller 

Q: Why aren’t koalas actual bears? 
A: The don’t meet the koalafications.

Q: What’s brown and sticky?
A: A stick.

Q: What’s a foot long and slippery?
A: A slipper 

Q: What’s red and moves up and down? 
A: A tomato in an elevator

Q: How does NASA organize a party?
A: They planet

Q: What do Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common?
A: Same middle name. 

Q: Who walks into a restaurant, eats shoots and leaves? 
A: A Panda 

Q: What did one eye say to the other eye? 
A: Don’t look now, but something between us smells.

Q: Why do abcdefghijklmopqrstuvwxy & z hate hanging out with the letter n? 
A: Because n always has to be the center of attention. 

Q: What do you call someone who is afraid of Santa? 
A: A Clausterphobic 

Q: What sound do porcupines make when they kiss? 
A: Ouch! 

Q: Why can't your nose be 12 inches long? 
A: Because then it would be a foot! 

Q: What did the man say to the wall? 
A: One more crack like that and I'll plaster ya! 

Q: Why don't skeletons fight each other? 
A: They don't have the guts. 

Q: What has four wheels and flies? 
A: Garbage truck! 

Q: What do you say when you lose a wii game? 
A: Ouch! 

Q: Why should you take a pencil to bed? 
A: I want a wii-match! 

Q: Why was the student's report card wet? 
A: It was below C level! 

Q: What streets do ghosts haunt? 
A: Dead ends! 

Q: What do you call it when Batman skips church? 
A: Christian Bale 

Q: What did the grape do when it got stepped on? 
A: It let out a little wine! 

Q: What did the time traveler do when he was still hungry after dinner? 
A: He went back four seconds.

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